Teaching Empathy to Young Children

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others and to respond appropriately to these feelings. Teaching young children to identify and acknowledge emotions early gives children strength necessary for thriving and surviving in any environment. In the current climate of adolescent bullying, early learning of empathy can combat future problems for children.

Research suggests that children are more likely to develop a strong sense of empathy when their own emotional needs are met. This can begin in infancy as children form bonds with parents and primary caregivers. Early in life when infants’ natural cues are responded to in appropriate ways, they begin to develop secure attachments. Even as early as 18 months, children can understand when taught about caring for others. They have even been observed displaying empathetic responses.

The simpliest way to teach empathy occurs when children have daily struggles over toys. Whether it is in the classroom, or at home, the natural play of children provides rich opportunities for teachers, caregivers, and parents to begin to teach empathy. As one child quietly works at playing, it can be quickly interrupted when another child stops the play by taking the toy or knocking down a creation. The first child may then retaliate by using physical force, such as hitting or biting, the perpetrator. Instead of using a “time out”, it can be a wonderful teaching moment. Talk with each child about how they would feel about the other child’s actions. Helping to identify and discuss feelings can then be used to explore how to respond in socially acceptable ways.

It may take years for a child’s empathy to emerge while other children seem to develop it more naturally. Research does show that girls tend to be more emphatic than boys in elementary school through adolescence. The reasons seem unclear but may stem from girls’ ability to self-regulate from an earlier age. Boys, often, are taught they shouldn’t show much emotion. But all children need to learn about all their emotions to be able to function in relationships. If children don’t learn to deal with emotions at an early age, later relationships will be more difficult. Children who don’t develop empathy can become callous adults, oblivious to the hurt and pain they leave behind.

Teaching children the skill of empathy is critical to sound moral and emotional development. Teaching and supporting empathy in young children will help children self-regulate at an earlier age and will benefit their interactions with peers now and society, as a whole, later.